Off-Topic, Household Injury

[Mrs. Krispe, writing again]

Cerri broke her wrist last night (Wednesday). She had climbed onto the roof of a piece of toddler playground equipment. Of course, we tried to tell her no, but once she saw other kids doing it last Sunday, there was no stopping her. But this time there were no other kids, just her, reaching forward to hit a tree branch with a stick, and down she went. I can recall it in slower motion than it actually occurred. Even so, it could have been no more than a bruise -- She has deliberately jumped from higher spots. But it was the falling that did it, because I'm sure she instinctively reached out with her hand to break the fall.

We spent a rough evening in the E.R., but in some ways, it was much better than many hospital visits. We only had to wait a little over 1/2 hour before they brought her back to examine. And not long after that they were able to X-ray. I honestly expected then that we'd have a very long wait only to be told it's just a sprain, they'd wrap it up & send us home. But they called us back very quickly & showed us the X-ray of a completely displaced bone. There was some talk of surgery that fortunately wasn't needed. Cerri kind of had a meltdown or two as they prepped her for conscious sedation, but we were able to help her calm down. Once they got her "under," the doctor was able to completely reset the bone, and she was all done & cast in just a very few minutes. Then once she was over the effects of the sedation, we were able to get her home, stopping at a 24-hr WaWa to get her a milkshake on the way.

We had promised her an ice cream cone before all of this happened, and though the place we had planned to go was closed, she still wanted ice cream. I pointed out that a cone was probably not going to work with one hand but that she could choose ice cream in a cup (which I would feed to her if she wanted) or a milkshake. I still had to hold the cup & the straw in just the right way for her, but she got to enjoy a strawberry milkshake on the way home.

She's sleeping now, and I imagine she'll be pretty worn out for the next couple of days. I have to say, I do NOT envy those parents whose children need to go through multiple surgeries in childhood. It did occur to me that our adopted child(ren) may need some minor surgery, and it's scary to think about. I know that it made a HUGE difference that I know exactly what soothes my girl, and I could read her reactions very well, such as when one very well-meaning nurse was talking entirely too loudly & animatedly.

I know she meant well, and I hated to hurt her feelings. But I also wasn't willing to stand there & allow my daughter to be further distressed by it. And I couldn't take the nurse aside to discuss it because it was in the middle of 2 other staff members prepping Cerri for the sedation. I think she was trying to distract Cerri from what was happening, but it was just making her more upset. So, as politely as I could, I said something like "I think it would help her a lot if we could just use quiet voices." I wanted to reassure the woman that I wasn't trying to criticize, just recognizing that my daughter was feeling overwhelmed by too much noise & activity all at once. But I didn't have the opportunity to say anything more about it, and after that minute or two of prepping, I didn't see that nurse again. And I can't honestly say that I would recognize the woman again, at this point. There were a LOT of staff members that did one thing or another for my little girl, and I appreciate all of them, including the kind intentions of that nurse. And in fact, she did tone down immediately, so that was good. I guess I just want to send out a little good karma to her, because I probably hurt her feelings (not sure how much). I would have let it go & spared her feelings had it not been for my daughter's well-being in the midst of this trauma. And for my daughter's sake, I'd do it again if I had to.

Granted, toddler body language isn't exactly subtle. I think even with a completely unknown child on my hands, I could quickly figure out if something was causing them to get upset. But it will take time to learn what soothes my new children and/or them becoming accustomed to the kinds of soothing gestures that I tend to make. I suppose we'll start to mesh fairly quickly, though, so even if some kind of procedure were needed, we'd manage. But as scary as I know all of this was for Cerri (with a fully intact attachment to her birthparents, us), it would be so much more terrifying for a child in the midst of culture shock with parents that they weren't completely sure about yet. And how harrowing for the newly adopted parents, with a child who has only recently been placed in their full care, that they are only just beginning to discover and take over the deepest places in their hearts.

This past evening's experience drove home for me the realization that I am not one of those adoptive parents who can take on those kinds of medical issues intentionally. Of course, the unexpected can always happen -- A child (bio or adopted) who was believed to be healthy could turn out to have an illness or sustain an injury (like just now). And then you do what you have to in order to help the child & the rest of the family get through it. But no, I really can't see myself deliberately taking on the trauma of repeated surgeries & whatnot.

Right now, all I want is for Cerri to have a full & speedy recovery so that she is back to her old self again (albeit, just a LITTLE more cautious). Here's hoping...

We're going to Perm!

[Mrs. Krispe again] Our home study, while not finalized, is approved by our agency (CHSFS). I guess they want some minor writeup revisions to make sure it's rock solid when it is submitted to USCIS. That's good, actually. I've been reading from others who had to get their social worker to revise & resubmit their home study, and that would be uber-stressful. CHS works with hundreds of families, so I'm confident that they know what they're doing & will make sure it's right. They're definitely earning their fees!

I've also read stories from others having all kinds of miscellaneous issues with paperwork & whatnot. It makes me realize that we chose wisely. So far, there has been so much clarity about what papers we need to provide when, where, to whom, etc. When we have questions, they respond quickly and (so far) accurately. It's still a lot of work, but not as much uncertainty as I've heard from others going through this.

I was a little worried at first. I thought their policy about maintaining birth order was too strict. Cerri spends time (even overnight) with cousins who are older than her all the time. If anything, she's most likely to feel a loss of status as the "baby" of the family. But after thinking it through more fully, we realized that it is not equivalent. After all, Cerri's cousins have always had access to plenty of food, mental & physical stimulation, and just one consistent culture, language, parents, etc. An adopted child, even if they are older than Cerri, is likely to be smaller & in need of some developmental catch-up. If that child is actually older than Cerri, this could cause added stress and generate some resentment between the children. (Obviously, helping our children bond together is one of our highest priorities.) So, after considering all that, we're now in favor of maintaining birth order for our adoption, but I really respect that CHS let us make the final decision on that issue.

Similarly, while they "assigned" us to our region of Russia, I know that we could ask for a different region if we wanted to (within the areas where CHS has a working relationship). But we've been gathering information about Perm since yesterday, and we're actually pretty excited about it. The city looks fairly picturesque, being on the banks of the Kama River & the foothills of the Ural mountains. I'm also impressed by what I've read of the university and the cultural opportunities there.

Should it matter what the region is like where our child(ren) is/are adopted from? Well, it doesn't matter in terms of how much we'll love our child(ren) or what s/he is capable of achieving in life. But I believe it enriches a child's life when their forever family has a genuine interest in their birth culture. And this is much more tangible & specific than a general appreciation of Russia. Heheh, the adoption is not even all that close to complete, and I'm already excited about bringing them back for a birth culture tour! :)